i need a fresh start

I’m thinking about going through my Facebook and deleting a bunch of pictures. more specifically all of the pictures of randee and i.

im also thinking about just deleting Facebook and starting over.

im also thinking about just deleting him on facebook

what to do!!

Good morning! ✨☀️

When I found out I was having a boy I got so worried. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to raise a son.

I never wanted to be a single mother. Never in a million years would I choose to be a single mother raising 3 kids. I thought I did everything right, fall in love, then get married, then have kids. I guess even when you do everything “right” things can go wrong.

I’m still worried. I know all of the negative statistics regarding kids and divorce, kids in single parent homes, and the negative statistics of kids without fathers. That is absolutely not what I want for my kids! And I’m worried that I won’t be able to prevent it.

I don’t blame myself for the marriage ending because I know it has nothing to do with me or anything I did or didn’t do. I feel like I did everything to try to make it work but I can’t stay married to someone that doesn’t want to be married. What I do blame myself for is picking wrong. I feel like I picked the wrong man to start a family with. I feel like I picked the wrong man to be the father to my children.

I’m praying that he proves me wrong and is the best father to them despite our marriage failing. I’m hopeful but I’m still worried.

Stretch marks

My belly is growing and itching like crazy! What is the best thing to get to prevent stretch marks? Or lessen the stretch marks.


Just signed calli up for ballet! :)

Sticking with the theme :)


Baby boy finally has a name! We finally agreed on….
Houston! 💙😊

So I’ve been thinking a lot about life recently and I realized im only 27 years old and I have at least another 50 years to go. I’m starting this new chapter in my life so I want to start it with some goals. Here are my goals for the next 5 years years:

- be the best mom ever to walk the face of the earth :) (duh)
- get a part time job
- get my LCSW
- go to Vegas for my 29th birthday
- raise my credit score 
- have at least $11,000 in a savings account

It’s a short and simple list that I think I should be able to accomplish with a lot of hard work

I have a couple of goals to reach in the next few years and I’m more determined than ever.

Anonymous said: Don't stress over not giving your daughter a birthday party, she's so young. She'd appreciate anything at this point and she'll understand later. They'll be a lot of times like this for all parents. Your not alone and you will overcome this rough patch eventually.

Thanks! :)
I know the only thing calli really cares about is getting to eat cake and ice cream since I rarely give her any sweets.

Feeling blah

6 and a half months pregnant and feeling blah. I’m at the point in pregnancy where I’m getting bigger everyday and more uncomfortable. Physically uncomfortable and uncomfortable with how I look. Clothes aren’t fitting, shoes aren’t fitting, nose is getting wider, face is breaking out, .. etc. I’m just really in a funk right now. It’s hard not having a spouse here to tell me I look beautiful despite the growing numbers on the scale and the growing numbers of stretch marks on my body. It’s hard not having a partner that is interested in the pregnancy and excited to feel the baby’s first few kicks. I hate having a bunch of whiny sad post because the last thing I want is for people to feel sorry for me. I’m going to be fine, I am fine. I’m just in a rut right now. Maybe sometime this week or this weekend I can find the time and money to get a manicure and pedicure and buy a few maternity shirts. I think I just need something to help me feel a little bit prettier.

3rd birthday in 3 days

So calli’s birthday is going to be really low key this year. I don’t really have any money right now or the time to plan something big. I’m going to make some treats for calli’s class and we will just have cake and ice cream at the house with just a couple of family members.
I was looking at party stuff about a month back with calli and we saw a sheriff Callie cake. Since then she has been talking about her sheriff calli cake for her birthday lol. So we are just having a simple sheriff calli cake and sheriff calli treats for her class.